REFLECTIONS AND SOUL SEARCHING

This year so far has had me reflecting and really looking deeper into my thoughts and my life. As if I don't already over think, now I'm double over thinking! But I think it's in a good way. Maybe it is an age thing. I will be 50 in 5 weeks time and that really hits home as to where I am in life and what I really want going forward.

From these recent thoughts, I have found that I want to become that free spirited person I was in my twenties and thirties again. Yes, I now have more financial responsibilities than back then, plus with aging elderly parents where the tables are turning and I have to start worrying about and helping them more often. But aside from that, I want my freedom back and to feel that everything else shouldn't be such a stress and a drain on me. You only get one life and seeing my parents now starting to get frail (my mum especially, as she has Vascular Dementia) I am realising I need to start doing things I love more often and also looking after my health.

This has meant that I have been reassessing my mindset, health and what truly matters on a day to day basis. I have realised that I have always needed freedom in my life. Don't put me in a corner doing the same thing over and over and expect me to be happy.  I want adventure, fun, I want to explore and see new things. I love learning and discovering new things. For the past ten to twenty years that was all forgotten and it was just a work, work, work mentality, behind a computer in an office - because that is what everyone else around me was doing. That's not me!

So now I am making sure I am doing more of the things I love and fitting them into my daily schedule. For example, I have always been an early morning person but I have been exhausted for years from the constant late nights and early mornings. With a new routine where now me and my partner get up at 6:30am and go to the gym or we take our dogs for a walk around the park. I am loving looking into our circadian rhythm and how amazing it is for our body. We get up every day of the week at this time (yes, even weekends) and we go to bed at the same time every night, 10pm lights are out. Our sleep and energy levels has improved soo much.

We are also coming up to a year being whole foods plant based with our eating. No dairy, no meat, no eggs, no sugar, very rare occasions with alcohol and that has been lifechanging for our health as well.

We are also taking a lot more time off to spend travelling in our caravan and exploring this beautiful country of ours, or even just long weekends away.

We love our fitness, walking and gym times and the changes we are seeing in our bodies and health is a real bonus that keeps us motivated and wanting more.

We are now putting our health, travel, acknowledging the small daily wins and joys and putting what we love first, before work and not letting things get to us. It's a game changer. I make sure it feels right and I'm happy, if something doesn't, I listen to my instinct and go with my gut. These changes are all feeling right to me. That's when you know your on your true path.

It's an added bonus that I do love the freedom and absolutely love the creativity of being a full time artist now. Working for myself and not sitting at a computer for 8 hours straight. It is the perfect 'job' for me. It's not work at all, it's fun and it lets my mind relax and calm down when I paint. Being in the studio is a place of contemplation and allowing the brushstrokes to create a sense of tranquility and meditation. My playful use of colour is an endless exploration to keep my mind alert and excited for what will be. A place for new self discovery on the canvas each time I paint a new piece. My studio is a place where I feel alive and it definitely is one of my happy places.

I feel I am heading in the right direction and getting back on my right path. Yes it will be a constant journey to improvement and new adventures and discoveries and that is something will I look forward to. I feel that this will help evolve my thoughts and creativity in the art studio as well. Now perhaps I will allow myself to open up a bit more on the canvas and let the paintings express this sense of freedom as well. I feel like I am becoming my old self and that is such a relief. I'm excited for this path in life... Moments and memories are waiting to be made.